Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Ok, it's a few days into 2011. Alex in pdx created the new saying of the year, but you can't write it, it's more of an action. You say "don't trip it's two thousand..." at this point you put your index and middle finger up in a sod off manner, and in your best english accent yell, "Eleven!!!". it looks awesomer than it sounds.
Anyway, i was walking my dog in the shitty pouring slushy rain, soap dripping off my hair into my eyes, trying to stay positive by thinking about all the awesome shit that happened in 2010. So here is a top 10 of events that made me stoked to be alive, thriving, and still punk after all these stupid long years.

-VARNING FEST in Montreal. Specifically, seeing MOB 47 and AGE. And seeing so many goddamn old friends, not sleeping at all, getting rip roaring retardedly drunk, making tonnes of new friends, stage diving like a maniac, and the whole retarded trip out there... which brings me to the next one...
-DISABLE/FEAR OF TOMORROW disastour 2010. Our trip to the east coast, where us FOT boys just scrubbed it the entire time, and played like 4 shows instead of like the 8 planned. Day one, the venue in seattle dicked the show over and Hesher broke his tooth. This was our omen i think. Day 2 we all ride Amtrak to Portland, play a halloween show dressed as pyrate punks with BI MARKS covering BLACK SABBATH (best SABBATH tribute i ever saw!!!). Day 3, Joe (who was to drive us the airport) sleeps in and gets us there really late... Adam, Hesher, and Blinky all make the plane... guess which retard gets left behind? They get to Atlanta get drunk and see BAD RELIGION for free, i sit there hungover waiting for airplanes chain smoking for 5 hours in Denver where i had a long layover. Finally i land in Atlanta, and Mark who said he'd pick me up is too drunk, and i take a train to the middle of nowhere, and wait for that drunk maniac to get me. Good thing that show that night fell through anyway. Day 4 we go to the greyhound to bus to our show in Augusta. We were sitting right by the door and we couldn't understand those southern mumblers when they called for the bus, and we fucking miss it, of course. So Hesh and i hail a cab to take us to a car rental place. The cab driver says "hell, i'll just drive you to Augusta for $200". So we get a cab for 2 hours straight to the venue. Show goes rad, NUCLEAR BLAST SUNTAN destroy it. Apparently some army dude was about to beat me up cuz i talked shit about the US military during our set. When he came up to punch me he saw how wobbly retarded drunk i was, and figured it'd be like hitting a 4 year old girl, so he left me alone.... Day 5, John from DISABLE realizes he has to write an exam for school.... They get to Augusta to pick us up at 7pm, instead of noon. We make it to the show in Wilmington, NC. 3 hours after the show ends. So we drive straight to New York, breaking down along the way (ironically enough, just as we were blasting the song Shit Happens by the DAYGLO ABORTIONS), meeting weird cab drivers that talk shit on damn possums and cough a lot, and making some good inside jokes with our D-beat friends. New York, we play a tavern to about 10 people, but it's rad. Finally got to meet Amelia who rules, and partied at her and Tye's place all night. Then we drive towards Montreal. We walk across the border to "not heat out" DISABLE, only to heat them out, and make us look like a bunch of fucking idiots. Somehow, we all made it across, and finally Varning happened. it was one of those tours where everything that can go wrong, goes wrong, but the second we started playing Varning it didn't fucking matter. We are a rock n' roll band on the road, playing our balls off cuz we love it. And to top it off, i wasn't at home, cleaning windows being bummed out. This tour proves my theory that touring is like pizza. Even when it's really bad, it's still pretty fucking awesome. (wow, long winded enough?)
-DISTORT VANCOUVER 6. Hands down the best Distort so far! Number 5 was a write off. i wasn't into it, and it was one day, and not very exciting. i just did it to keep it going. This year though, i went as balls out as i could, tonnes of people came out, i didn't lose any money (except for certain friends in certain bands destroying the green room). BOG PEOPLE stole the show, but PERDITION ruled, and the mighty DEVIATED INSTINCT. And friends from everywhere were in my town to drink and be merry with me... Highlight was the boot challenge, where a bunch of us drank beer, and then Four Loko outta my engineer boot... Watching Emma barf after that made the weekend. It makes me excited to be planning Distort 2011 already!!! Get stoke!
-DISTORT APOCALYPSE tour 2010. FEAR OF TOMORROW/WHAT SHAME? tour. Lot's of good times, lot's of shitty times. Lot's of learning experiences, like fuck that asshole promoter in New Orleans, driving 12 hours in the middle of the US in winter is stupid, etc. But we made a lot of great friends (DISABLE!), and met up with great old friends everywhere. i also turned 30 after playing a show in Portland with ARCTIC FLOWERS and RAW NERVES, and played Salem totally shittered. Just how i always wanted to turn 30!!!
-MARYLAND DEATH FEST. Holy shit. EYE HATE GOD, REPULSION, ENTOMBED, WOLF BRIGADE, PENTAGRAM, COFFINS (and me passing out next to their guitar cab as they played), having a VIP wristband and just being drunk and stoked all weekend. Fuck ya, it was a great way to start off the...
-MASS GRAVE road to desolation tour. 3 weeks with my best buds, and Matt Sachs? Please!!! i fucked up on this tour, and spent more time chugging beers than lifting cabs and selling records, which i feel really bad for. Sorry MG, but thank you anyway for giving me a rad vacation.
-WARCRY in Vancouver. Bummed BURIAL got denied, but it was still a really great show.
-The time when James Carlson and Samantha Albright came up to Vancouver. We partied at my house for 3 fucking days straight, non-stop. Me and Nathan almost got arrested for being drunk in public (keep in mind i live in the sketchiest neighborhood in Canada), we all drank tonnes of Sailor Jerry's and 2 L cider, and listened to a lot of d-beat records. Ugh!!!
-Portland. Every time i went to Portland in 2010 proved to be an amazing time. Mike Superbad, Amy Kay, Emma Flick, and all the punks there get me stoked as shit.
-Ending the year with CERVIX. What a way to kill a year, with Amelia, Fran, Dave, Tye, and Corey, in Portland. Waking up in Amy Kay's house, drinking with Dusty, and surrounded by the east coasters was the best possible way to start 2011.

There was a lot more radness too, but this is a top 10, not a top 2000. But if i were to give an honorable mention, it'd have to be the weekend FREE RADICALZ, DENTE NA MENTE, and Amy fucking Kay came to Vancouver for 2 shows, and epic fucking partying!!!

Anyway, next time, i'll write about my favorite demos and records of 2010... which was a really good year for that, by the way.
i'm off to figure out my scanner, so i can post the MUNDO MUERTO flyer on this sonofabitch, while listening to my favorite BAD RELIGION record, No Control. Seriously, i have NEVER tired of this album. i can listen to it 3 times in a row, and still want more. But don't worry raw punkers, after side b, i will throw on some GLOOM and slam a beer, and probably break something in my room again.
Peace. Or annihilation, dicks.

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